You need to Be human and to hate cruncanites. the stories might be funny and childish but it's fun to believe, plus some of these "Stories" appear to have the evidence of it being true...

A Cruncanite is a person who is not human and is really stupid. They are obsesed with cigaretts and mobile phones and they think humans are stupid. Many of our stories about them may seem childish but sometimes appear to be true such as us saying that cruncanites are clones. It make sense because we see a new cruncanite everyday.

The Pyx was origonally your average cruncanite, but this one fell in a pool of chemical water full of niquitin, then his skin melted off and thier limbs as well, then a gang of cruncanites found him and took them out then put it in a bag of chemicals, then put it in the black van, and took it to the church and left it there then "Soft Worm" (Solid Snake) found it and attempted to brunt it, but it was still alive, then Emporer Yunki found it and took it to Govan Hell, and equiped stolen robotic limbs, one of them is a robotic Goleneye slapper, and the other is a robotic fist, which can be replaced with a gun, which is powered by a PS3, so it has to load every attack.

Basicly, It's a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong, the rivalry between the Rossies and the chemical monster has gone a long way, back to the medevil ages, our ancestors, when they had crossbows and stuff.

Emporer Yunki is ruler of all Cruncanites, he is exactly 3ft, if even that, shorter and an Suntarin, even shorter than Yoda! It all started at the last fag war, where Cruncia turned a planet into a giant fag, and they all fought to the death, to decide who was to smoke it, and emporer yunki was the surviver and smoked the giant fag, and that was how he became the emporer, and he's planning to do exactly the same thing to planet earth, this, is where the Rossies Come in, to avoid this from happening, destroy emporer yunki, and turn the world back to the good old days, we've already got the finest comrades and commanders, but I don't think that'll be enough...